About to Be Induced

After all of the struggles with this pregnancy, the time has finally come for her to come out. As I've mentioned previously, I've been watched for preeclampsia during this entire pregnancy. My doctor has been out of town for weeks and finally returned last week. Before my weekly appointment with her, I had already received a phone call from the office asking me to bring a list of my blood pressure readings. I was hoping that they would talk to me about induction at this point.

The next day at the doctor's office, my thoughts were confirmed and they wanted to take her out soon. They sent me to the hospital to monitor me and conduct a non-stress test to monitor the baby. The performed another ultrasound on her just to make sure she was okay. As I was leaving the hospital, they set it up with the hospital that I would be sent for an induction on Sunday night. I was excited but completely nervous and terrified.

Throughout this pregnancy many people have been giving me their opinions and suggestions. Some of the biggest threads of these opinions and suggestions have dealt with either breastfeeding or delivering her. There are a lot of people who obviously push hard for breastfeeding which is fine because I was planning on it; however, there are a lot of people who are against C-sections or inductions. Now, I completely trust my doctor. If my doctor says hey it's time to conduct a C-section that I would hands down let her make that call. I haven't been doing very well health wise this entire time and an induction seemed like the best choice.

Now am I terrified? Of course. My body technically isn't ready to have the baby and we're forcing it to do it. But, after the now constant hospital stints (three within 4 weeks) I didn't want all these issues to start effecting her. I have to monitor my blood pressure three times a day, take medication twice a day, and really be critical of kick counts since apparently they are much more critical in higher risk pregnancies than non-complicated ones. The amount of pressure I felt to protect her was overwhelming and I'm not trying to complain because I would do this again in a heartbeat, but I didn't want to make the wrong call and risk hurting her because of my stupidity. I would never be able to forgive myself.

So here I am terrified and nervous about what is to come but so excited to finally see her. Finally able to rest a little bit more because my health can no longer effect her. I just want her to be okay. I'm sure I'll feel this way for the rest of my life. In the next 24-48 hours my life is abut to completely change. It's funny how you feel like you've been preparing for this moment the entire time during your pregnancy, but nothing makes it feel more real than an actual timeline. When I walk out this door tonight I'll be coming back with someone else. Everything will be different, but you know what - it'll be amazing. I cry when I think about it because it honestly is an amazing experience.

I can't wait to update everyone on everything once she's born, but for now I just wanted to capture how I feel at this moment.