Clearing My Head..

Sometimes during my long runs I let my mind just drift. I work things out mentally as I blast my headphones and lengthen my strides. Today I had one of those runs. It was absolutely amazing, plus I ran without my Garmin :)

It's almost liberating running without a Garmin. You have no idea how fast you're going or even your exact distance. Lucky for me I know how long most of the routes are in this area, so I'm guessing I ran almost 5.5 miles. I felt like I was going a decent speed, but I honestly didn't care. Today it was all about being outdoors and listening to my body telling me what speed to run.

During my run I thought about how the past couple of weeks I've been in a rut. I haven't been myself at all, and it sucks. I've also been thinking about my dad a lot. For those of you who don't really know much about me, my dad left my mom when I was a baby. From what I understand he attempted to be in my life the first couple of years and then disappeared. The last time I talked to him I was 15 and it was a disaster. I haven't heard from him since. Funny enough he has another family; guess I wasn't included. I figured since father's day was coming up, I had already started to feel that sadness that I get every year. The same sadness I get during father - daughter dances at weddings. It just plain sucks. 

I've also been stressed about work. Things are just crazy and I try my hardest to get everything done without making mistakes. However, something always comes up. It gets to me. I know you can't think about work once you get home, but it's hard for me not to.

So as I ran, these were some of the things I thought about. All those thoughts had been weighing on my brain heavily. The funny thing is, as I worked all these thoughts out in my head, I realized that I was making a hill out of a breadcrumb (is that even a saying??). Instead of focusing on all this negativity, I should focus on the good things in my life and there's a lot of those. Like let's think about how I have a job, how I have a family who loves me and wants the best for me, or how I have the ability to run. Some people have nothing and who am I to complain about the things I have? 

As I got to the end of my run, I felt absolutely amazing. My run was fantastic and my mind was put to ease. I had the goofiest smile on my face as I stopped to walk. Since I still wanted to be outdoors, I gardened for another 3 hours in the front yard ;)

Oh I also forgot to mention I picked up my race packet for the race on monday.. it should be fun even though I was conned into doing it lol. Oh well :) should still be fun!!

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