Our Struggles

I'm taking today off ;) Every once in a while I get lazy and don't feel like getting a workout in. So why am I blogging? I guess it's to talk about something more than just working out lol.

It's funny; I read some of my past blog posts and I can't believe how much has changed since I started blogging. Reading some of it has been upsetting (the post about my grandpa), but some of it has been great to read (my first half ironman experience). However some of the things that I realized while reading my blog is that I have had my fair share of struggles. My main struggles are overthinking situations way too much, trying hard to be perfect, believing way too much in my self doubt, and calling myself a failure more than I would like to. It made me realize I am way too hard on myself. I really need to stop. It's obviously not going to happen overnight, but it needs to happen.

I know as I get older I'll get wiser. Well, I'm hoping to anyways. I'm sure the fact that I act like a five year old every once in a while doesn't help my situation, but it's so much more fun then acting my true age lol. Life is way too short to take things so seriously. Which brings me to my next point, I need to stop thinking and worrying about what people think or expect of me and just be myself. I try to be myself for the most part, but every once in a while I try to hide myself. It's hard for me, but I do it.

So where do I go from here? I'm not too sure. I guess try to figure out what I want out of life and just go for it head first. There's a lot I still want to accomplish. I want to be a mom at some point. I know I don't talk about that a lot, but it's mostly because it scares the bejesus out of me. The fact that I'm responsible for someone other than myself is ridiculously scary. I'm still not too sure where I want my career to go, but I think I'm getting closer at figuring that part out. I want to keep doing my workout thing, and strive to get better. Mostly, I want to be happy every day, and stop being my own worst critic. I'll get there eventually; I know it.